A couple of times recently I have let myself go and dreamed what it would be like to have another baby. One time was driving home from taking a church service on Father’s Day. Another was sat up on the hill where we scattered Abigail’s ashes. Today I listened to Cinderella by Steve Curtis Chapman (see below) which really got me thinking what it would be like to have a daughter growing up.
It is satisfying for the moment – like indulging in some forbidden feast. Problem is of course it doesn’t last long and soon enough reality kicks in again.
I really feel for those who have no children at all. We are so blessed to have a four year old son who brings us such joy and is growing up so fast. I am also proud to be the Father of Abigail even if she didn’t live to breath on this earth. But I definitely want another baby and I am impatient. It is hard to see things in balance. To see the many blessings that you have rather than simply focus on the one thing you do not have. It is all too easy to let that one thing become the only thing that matters. And, overlook the wonderful wife and precious son that God has blessed me with.
Perhaps I should be focusing on living in the present, not the future or the past?
[...] A Father’s love song for his daughter which reminded me of all the potential lost when Abigail died and also spoke of our ongoing infertility troubles is Cinderella. [...]
By: Songs for a stillborn baby « Living in the Rainbow on 20/11/2009
at 7:39 pm